Hunkering Down for 2012

The start of a new year means many things to many people.  For me, it’s filled with a tinge of anxiety and a lot of excitement.  Tomorrow, I start my internship, in addition to working my regular full-time job.  I’ll go in a couple of hours earlier to my normal gig, so I can average about 2 hours a day at my internship.  This makes me nervous.  I fear over-sleeping.  I figure after a couple of weeks, I’ll have made the adjustment.

Other than the tinge of anxiety, I’m exciting about the internship.  I love my major, Health Promotion.  I look forward to working and learning with the department.  I also graduate in August, so I’ll be wrapping up my internship and schoolwork at the same time.

I would stress about being concerned about being able to get all of my work at my regular job done.  I usually work late by choice, so it’ll be an adjustment (for my management) when I don’t for 8 months.  Note: I’ll log onto the network after hours.  I’ll also take a few classes during the year.  I’ll won’t use any vacation time during this time.  Sigh…

To get through the chaotic schedule and the pain points, I’m doing my best to focus on the good things ahead for me in 2012 and beyond!

Onward and upward!!!

Angel Trees and How I Chose To Believe People Accept My Gifts

I’ve chosen a child from my church’s Angel Tree a few times.  The first time, I went all out.  I bought like I was buying for my own child (of which I have none).  I had a lot of joy in purchasing my gifts. 

My friend/coworker/church member assisted with the Angel Tree last year.  She discussed the a multitude of issues: individuals failing to bring their gifts prior to the time that parents were to pick them, parents being upset that one child received more than another (sometimes children in one family are given to different individuals), and then there are those who just aren’t appreciative at all.

The families are usually invited to the church on a Wednesday night for dinner, then the parents receive their gifts.  I’ve never gone to witness this.  My mom and I bought gifts for a child.  Shopping with my mom has always been painful, so within 10 minutes, I was irritated.  If she had been anyone else, I’d have gone off on her.  We finally accomplished our goal and got out of there.  We ended up at three different stores.  I’m trying to avoid having a flashback. 

My mom went to the church tonight.  I’m not sure if she wanted to see the family or just watch everyone.  There were 399 kids on the Angel Tree this year.  Pretty ridiculous to me.  But no one is asking.  I opt not to go.  I’d like to live in a world where the family would accept my gifts and be grateful, end of story.  If I was aware that they weren’t, I might snap, grab my bags, curse said parent out and put the money back in my account.

When it comes to Angel Trees, ignorance is bliss…

Online Dating Profile Tips for Men

I’ve read a few profiles that are nice.  By that, I mean I think it sounds like it’s a snapshot of the individual’s personality.  It doesn’t mean that I’m interested, it’s just seems well composed.

As for the others, you need the following:

• A picture, not a picture that you took of yourself in the bathroom mirror.  If you need a picture, tell a friend that you need a nice picture for Facebook.  Or be honest and say it’s for your dating profile!  On my profile I state that no picture = no response.  I’d be lying if I said that physical attraction didn’t matter.
• Be honest.  But sometimes there is such thing as over share.  I don’t want to read about farts in your profile. 
• Try not to be too negative.  I understand, we all know what we like and don’t like.  When you end up with a bulleted list, I’m thinking you will remind me of Larry David.  I love his character on Curb Your Enthusiasm but I wouldn’t be able to tolerate him.  You’ll get this information in a few email exchanges or phone call.
• Think about your expectations.  Are they realistic?  One profile requested a submissive woman and went onto say that he wanted her to pleasure him sexually.  I don’t know any submissive women.  I don’t think that woman exists.  Honestly, any woman who goes into a relationship trying to be submissive, will ultimately turn into a crazy person/murderer.  It’s not healthy!
• Be cautious about your mention of sex.  I think most women assume that men enjoy sex.  We assume that if you have a penis, you will want to use it at some point.  We don’t need you to go into detail.  If that’s your primary focus, there are certain sites, you should focus on.
• Copy and paste your profile into word.  It can catch your misspellings and grammatical errors.
• Ask for feedback.  Have a friend or a someone of the opposite of sex take a glance at your profile. 

I love my profile.  I often get great feedback from other guy’s that they enjoyed reading my profile.  Right now, I’m trying to figure out what does my ideal guy look like.  Not physically but I wonder about personality and interests.  Right now, I think I’d like an active, researcher-type from one of three nearby cities.  As for other cities and towns, I’ll think it about.  There are other things I’d like but I think it’s best to be flexible.  Who wants to date a carbon copy?  Remember that episode of Seinfeld when Jerry was dating the female version of himself?

Thanks to the Guy from Heart and Soul magazine

Over three years ago, I was desperate to change jobs.  Desperate.  Right as I was editing my resume and cover letter, things started to shift.  Fannie Mae and Sallie Mae bottomed out.   A few weeks later I went to a large job fair that was part of the Black MBA conference.  There were tons of employers.  Unfortunate for me, most of the employers were looking for new MBA grads.

So taking a break, I decided to use my strengths, don’t focus on the employers looking for general MBAs.  I also have a MHA and had been in the healthcare industry since I finished undergrad.  I received a lot of positive feedback after this shift.

Before I switched up my approach, I went to a table for Heart and Soul magazine.  The guy there looked bored.  He didn’t have a lot of people coming up to his table.  It’s not the most popular magazine for black women.  But I wanted a free magazine.  I threw a resume at the guy, and he looks around (no one was around) and he tells me, things are going to get worse.  If I were you, I’d stay put.  It’s going to get really bad.  By the way, Fannie and Sallie Mae had booths set up.  I joked that only a loser would even seek them out. 

Needless to say, I’d stayed put.  I’ve finishing up another degree that believe it or not, does have marketability.  Health promotion.  Provided that everyone continues to be overweight/obese with multiple co-morbidities, I’m in business.

A couple of nights ago, I watched “Too Big To Fail” very enlightening.  Watching the timeline during the movie, I thought of the Heart and Soul guy.

My Quest To Reach A Healthy Weight

The CEO of my company has challenged us to focus on our weight.  If your BMI is 28 or higher, in order to receive the maximum incentive towards your premium for 2013, you’ll need to lose 5% of your body weight.

I’m focused.  I’ve lost inches since preparing for my 10K.  I’m planning to train for my first half-marathon on April 1.  My best friend wants me to run one with her in Baltimore mid-October.  My weight assessed in September.  I’m thinking if I stay focused, I should lose the weight.

I went a step further and despite not loving the concept of BMI, have decided to see if I can reach my healthy weight.  This will require that I lose about 25 pounds.  I think I can do it.  Although, I didn’t quite reach this weight years ago, my mother staged an informal intervention after happening to witness me changing shirts.  It was a little too much collarbone and rib cage for her.

Admittedly, back then I was all about weight loss through starvation and lots of exercise.  Did I mention that I would pass out by 8:15?  Would get home from the gym and lay on the floor and hope for energy to get in the shower?  Would hope for sleep in order to avoid hunger pains?

I was crazy.  But I’m in a better place now.  So onward I go!

My First 10K

I planned to complete my first 10K in April.  A couple of weeks before, things went haywire. I ended up being diagnosed with runner’s diarrhea.  I have IBS, which really hadn’t been an issue for me.  As I began to run longer distances by body started to betray me.  My GI doctor advised me to take a meds an hour before each run.  No luck. 

I called back and his nurse suggested I take anti-diarrheal medication 30 minutes before a run.  I asked if that was safe to do considering I run 4 to 5 times a week.  She said yes.  I figured she didn’t know what in the hell she was talking about.  I felt resigned to shorter runs.

I learned that I can quiet the effects of my diagnosis if I run in the morning, or if I have an early lunch (11:30) and run at 6 p.m.  I managed to eventually run longer distances.  On the day I ran 6 miles, I signed up for the 10K.

The race was yesterday.  I was a ball of nerves.  After I arrived, I walked around and gave myself a pep talk.  I had my GPS watch, so that helped me pace myself and know which mile I was on. 

There were a couple of hills that wanted to take me out but I survived them.  I wanted to finish under an hour.  My time ended up being 1:00:46.  I’m okay with that.  Why ruin an accomplishment with beating yourself up?  I loved that I was able to get this off my checklist. 

Starting in December, I’ll begin  training for my first half-marathon on April 1.

My Tips for Hiking

It’s my new thing this fall.

My tips include wearing appropriate shoes and realizing that there won’t be bathroom facilities along the hike.  These items seem simple but my friends tend to ignore the obvious and suggestion that they take this into consideration.

You can wear sneakers on a hike.  But, a hiking boot would be better.  You’re not walking a clear or paved path.  You’re dealing with uneven ground, rocks, tree roots, possibly stepping onto rocks and avoiding water that has collected along the way.

The bathroom thing.  My advice is to cut back on your water consumption prior to, use the bathroom otherwise be prepared to go in the woods.   I hate the idea of going to bathroom where there isn’t one or the one available is going to be sketchy (NC State Fair).  I had someone ask me in the middle of the woods were there bathrooms.  I told her yes, she could go anywhere in the woods that she liked.  Every person I’ve hiked with has ended up going in the woods.  I turn my back and stare at the map.

Also, if you on a trail with markings, make sure you have someone looking at the markings.  Apparently, I’m the only person who bothers.

Too Much 48 Hours

I’ve admitted that I look for red flags with guys that might make me the subject of my own episode.  I can see it now, she was a young woman who had a lot of promise.  And then the “but” would come in, but she used an online dating site.

So here’s the thing, I’m big on going with my gut.  Opting to meet guys out at public places.  Being reluctant to exchange numbers.  Being vague when they ask where I live.  I got a tip from a guy who was writing a book on dating online, he said never let a guy see your license plate.  He told me that some guys have access to run license plates, hence they have your personal information, including your address.  I had never thought about that one.

I was out-of-town with my mom and we were walking down the hallway of the hotel.  I jokingly said, let’s be careful, tons of people get killed in hotels.  Normally, my mom would suggest I was being overly negative.  Her response, “I know.”

I think I’ve gotten to be a bit extreme.  The key is realizing that without putting myself in crazy situations that will result in me being assaulted or killed.  I will not become the woman who thinks every man is a potential rapist/murderer.  I will not be the holed in my house with cats, scared of the world.  I’ll never be holed up with cats because I despise them.  I don’t brake for cats that run out in the road.  I’m serious.

Everyone isn’t  a rapist/murderer but there does seem to be a few unstable guys out there…and I’m sure there are unstable women out there as well.

Hoping for the Best, Preparing for Nothing (Hurricanes)

My state is preparing for Hurricane Ilene.  I hate the name.  But that’s beyond the point.  I live two hours from the beach but based on past experiences, that doesn’t mean my city won’t be affected.  When I was undergrad, I was positive that Hurricane Fran would hit my college town (as we were right on the water).  I packed a bag and laid out clothes (in preparation for a late-night evacuation).  In the middle of the night, I heard security over the intercom say something that amounted to “move”.  I woke up my roommate, put on my clothes, grabbed my bag and headed downstairs.  The security guards looked confused.  I asked what the evacuation process entailed.  They explained, we weren’t evacuating, they were asking students to move their cars from a certain lot to higher ground as it would probably flood.

 A few days later, I found that my parents had the brunt of the hurricane.  There was extensive damage all over.  No power for a week.  People hadn’t prepared and price gouging was in full-effect.  My dad was really good-natured about the whole thing. He said that there was damage to the roof and his truck but it’d all be covered by insurance.  He lamented, the good thing was, it was time to replace the roof anyway!

Years ago, I was going to Myrtle Beach for birthday.  My friend flew down from Philly and we drove down.  We were undecided about dinner, so we stopped any several restaurants on Kings Highway.  At one point, we left a buffet and this car noticed I had NC tags, they asked if we were staying in-town.  I said yes, they fell out laughing and speed off.  Sign #1.

 We went to K&W Cafteria.  As we paid for our bills, the older cashiers, told us to be very careful.  We probably looked to damn carefree.  Sign #2.

 On the way back to the resort, the highway was lined with Sheriff’s Deputies in the medians. Sign #3

 I decide that we should stop at the grocery store.  As I pull up, they’re placing the metal things on the windows to protect against the storm. Sign #4

 At this point, I’m panicked.  I’ve grabbed a cart, I’m literally running through the aisles, grabbing things and throwing them in the cart.  I’m yelling at my friend to keep up.  I hear on the radio that after a certain time, probably 8 p.m., all the highways will be going Westbound.  I return, to the resort, I ask if there is a mandatory evacuation will they inform us.  The lady smiles and tells me yes.  I wake up the next morning to find out (via the news) that there was a mandatory evacuation in the middle of the night.  No, we weren’t called.

 The morning is lots of rain and wind.  I talk to my mom and tell her that we’re okay, the hurricane has already come through.  She corrects me, it hasn’t.  Oh.  The power goes out and my friend sleeps through it all.  I, who drug us in the this craziness, I’m awake through the whole thing.  Going crazy, feeling guilt.  When I saw crazy, I mean petrified hoping that we come out alive. I almost ate myself through a damn bag of bagels. 

 There was property damage but no casualties.  By the way, this hurricane hit on my birthday.  Happy Birthday Idiot!!!

Holding Onto Random Items

It’s time for me to replace my running shoes, well past time.  A certain store has a trade-in policy (for limited periods of time). You bring in a pair of used running shoes and you can get a discount towards your purchase.  

Before I turned in my shoes, I took the shoelaces out and replaced them with some from a random pair I still have.  Why did I switch out the laces?  I ran a 5K in June and fell.  I didn’t notice a pothole and totally tripped.  I tried to recover and prevent the fall, just when I thought I had, I realized that I was going down!

It wasn’t a bad fall, no scrapes, I broke my fall and got up and ran even harder.  Shout out to the two guys who made sure I was okay despite the fact we were in the midst of a competitive race!  I improved my time and I loved my attitude.  I loved that I was like okay, that happened but instead of running at the same pace, we’re going to step it up.  I improved my time.

The next day when I was lacing up, I realized that my left shoelace (brunt of the fall) was shredded in a few places.  I want to hold onto the shoelace just because I liked my approach to the temporary setback.

It also reminds me of my dad.  He battled cancer for years, prior to that he was dealing with congestive heart failure.  I remember getting in a minor car accident out-of-town during Spring Break.  I was at fault and I remember after the police came, talking to my dad.  I was naturally upset, he asked if I was okay.  I told him yes.  Next, he asked about the other driver, I said he was fine.  My dad said from his perspective, we shouldn’t worry about it anymore.

I remember telling someone else a few months later.  She said that her dad would have been yelling about the damage to the car.  I told her that when you’re dealing with issues of life and death, you’re not going to waste energy on stuff like that. 

My dad was a warrior through it all and I felt like for that moment in that race, I was embracing his positive energy when unexpected things happen…