How Salmon Almost Got Me Arrested

I’d planned to fix salmon tonight.  Had my brain and tongue wrapped all around the idea.  But the seafood department only had horribly looking salmon in the display. I ask the guy behind the counter if he has anymore elsewhere.  He says, “Yes, but I can’t open the box until tomorrow.”  Have you ever heard anything that stupid?

So I start to go to another store and get salmon but I’m feeling defeated.  I go to McDonald’s.  I’ve been craving a chicken sandwich.  I pull around the drive-thru and see a cart with the reverse lights on.  I see she’s stopped and proceed to drive.  She blows the horn.  I blow back.  She blows the horn back at me repeatedly.  I’m thinking, does she know the rules of traffic?  I turn my head to see if she was for real.  She’s leaning forward looking at me kind of crazy.  I attempt to flip the bird, it was two fingers instead of one.

She pulls up next to as if she’s trying to cut me off and asks if I have anything I want to say.  I say, “Yes, I was driving straight with the right-of-way, you were backing up and are supposed to look.”  She said “No, I was already backing out, you had to drive around me.”  I disagree, and she calls the cops.  I hear her reading out my plate as I proceed through the drive-thru.  I see her parked across the lot as I finish.  I pull up with one space in-between and ask if I should wait for the cops.  She says, “Yes, they’ve been called.”  She proceeds to tell me she didn’t call because of the moving vehicle issue, it was the bird.  She’s a private investigator in Virginia and that’s a sign of road rage.  We wait until the cops arrive.

I knew this was low priority, so it took about 30 minutes.  They come and she tells her story, “I was backing up and blow the horn to let her know I’m coming out.  She blows her horn back, which I interpreted as she sees me.  I blow back, to say okay.  She flips me the bird.  I think she interpreted the horn blowing as aggression. ”  The cop asks if that’s it.  She says, “I just hate that my 11- year old daughter was  exposed to that.  All I wanted was an apology.  She pulls out the drive-thru and asks if I need to wait for the cops and I tell her they’ve been called.”

At this point that cop tells her if this was a case of true road rage, it would have been dangerously for her to stop so close.  The cop asks for my story and give accurate version, even stating that yes, I attempted the bird but it was two fingers versus one. 

The cop tells the lady to leave and the cops gives me a dismissive wave like, go on. 

If only the Kroger had salmon, they would have let me purchase.  That’s  something worth getting upset about.


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