Tag Archives: single

Figuring Out My Next Steps

I’ve landed a job on team that I’ve dreamed of, after a lot of hard work.  My love life, I can’t say too much about it, as it’s non-existence.  I’m pretty okay with that. I’ve been solo for awhile and enjoy my own company as well as those of friends and family.  I’ve dreamed of being a mom since I was kid.  In the past couple of years, I’ve felt that I’d be okay if never got married but I wouldn’t be okay with never being a mom.  I’ve had a couple of failed attempts at artificial insemination using a sperm donor.  Trust me, I gave this a lot of consideration.  I’m adopted and while I have no desire to meet my biological parents, I wouldn’t assume that my potential offspring would feel the same way about the sperm donor.  So, I forked over extra money to make sure the donor was open versus anonymous. An open donor would be open to be contacted after said offspring reached the age of 18.  The contact could be via letter, call or face-to-face.   The form is up to the donor.  Yes, I understand that expectations would have to be set that this individual is your sperm donor and not your dad and I’d probably have a therapist assist me with this.  

I also gave being a single mom by choice a lot of thought.  Yes, single mom by choice is really a thing.  Google it.  I got a book and read about how to prepare for situations unique to this classification.  The two failed attempts were emotionally draining.  I’ll go into more detail what my journey was like in future posts.  

After the second attempt, I had to focus on wrapping up lose ends on my old job.  Now, I’m wondering if I should pursue future attempts.  I’m thinking that there are lots of women who don’t or can’t have children that have found life to be very fulfilling without having children.  I always dreamed I get married and since that hasn’t happened, I’ve become okay with the prospect of never getting married.  I could just focus on pursuing my own interests, volunteer activities and travel.  I’m giving myself a few more months to think it over.

I’d say there’s no rush but it feels like there is…

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Happy Valentime’s Day!

If you’re looking at my subject line, you thinking one of two things:

  1. Did she realize she misspelled Valentine’s?
  2. Is she one of those people who incorrectly refers to it as Valentime’s?

The answer to both questions is yes.  I am aware the word is misspelled.  I do incorrectly refer to the day as Valentime’s.  Why?  I had a coworker who used to say Happy Valentime’s Day.  I almost didn’t catch but she said it repeatedly.  When she walked away,  I asked the others, “Did she say Valentime’s Day?”  The eruption of laughter was my answer.

Apparently, she’s not alone in saying Valentime.  My favorite show 30 Rock had an episode where a hooker played by Rachel Dratch used the word.  It was hysterical to me.

So the day is fast approaching and I have no valentine.  No worries, I’ve had more Valentine’s Days where I’ve been single than attached.  My feeling on the day is this if you enjoy it, continue on.  If you seemed to get depressed or your expectations never seem to be met, put less emphasis on the day.  Change up your approach, if you’re single,  plan fun activities with your girlfriends.  If you’re with someone and you have an idea that the day will send you “over the moon”, realize it’s one day.  I’d personally rather have an awesome birthday or anniversary.  All the pink and red is nauseating after a certain point.

With all that being said, I plan to spend my Valentime’s Day by going to church, hitting the gym and taking my mom to dinner.  It won’t be sending me “over the moon” but I won’t be crying into my pillow either…